Loving Myself

Sorry i didn't post much because all i could focus on about is this blog post only, which is about how i was bullied then being insecure; but now i'm recovering, gaining back my self-confidence and most important is learning on loving myself and how i look. What took this post so long because i have trouble on typing out my thought, arranging it and trying to make this post as positive as i can.

What made me want to do this blog is the inspiration that i will talk about later and i find that it's time to move on, put this in the past and be myself.

I have always been bullied since Primary School, mostly being called fat and ugly, that is when i started being insecure about my body, how fat i was and wishing how i could be skinny like Cris. Not only being bully but also being compared or told like my aunt told me to lose some of my arm fats off. When Secondary life came by, comments turn nastier ( like ' bitch ' , ' dog ' and more ) and to online bullying too.

I slowly become depress and started to binge eating or using food to comfort myself ( this made me gained more weight ), starve myself or go on strict diets and many more. Years past by and more problems added, it just get worse.

One day, I was watching Unpretty Rapstar; Season 2 and it's was on the semi finals episode. When i heard Sua song, it hits me really hard and i nearly cried because i was sad and depress that time, recovering from a problem. The song is mostly about people diss-ing her online, hating her but she told them back " love me or hate me, this is me ". Why this song hits me hard because it kind of relates to me too.

( I chosen the a video that has lyrics so

 you guys can understand the song better. )

Now this song really stays close to my heart and always hear it when i'm down, not happy about myself or anything that is negative and this was my beginning of getting my confidence back and start love myself.

" Love Yourself, Trust Yourself, Be Yourself, Don't Hate Yourself  "

Recently i also have been watching lots of video like Loey Lane; hauls ( Seeing how confident she is, and didn't care what people say about her body ) and plus size models like Ashley Graham, Tess Holiday and others.  Those videos that i left down there, really helped boosted my confidence like it's ok to be curvy or your thigh touching each other and many others.

I'm proud being curvy, plus size or what's better is called " My Size ".
To be really honest, i can see like i'm not meant to be skinny because it's the genes.
Ending this off with photo of me with no make up and body photo.

( p/s : ignore my dirty mirror )

Hope you guys really like this blogpost and inspired you!

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